LIVE (well almost) BLOGGING LOST

9PM: It starts with that f*ing bald headed John Locke. I kind of hate him....tho I alternately hate him and then feel bad since he was a cripple and all.

And Ben....that misogynistic freakazoid b@st@rd. I'm hoping typing this out will help me understand what the f*ck is going on. At least they've cleaned the blood off that poor b@st@rd.....I was pretty sick of watching the other cast members beat him to a bloody pulp.

Oh. Sawyer. The guy who always looks hot and grubby. Most of the guys on this show look hot and slightly rumpled coming out of the jungle after beating the crap out of Locke....Sawyer always looks hot and yet slightly grubby.

I'm lost (heee!) in these back stories. Kate is being charged with everything but devil worship. I think it's cuz of the pink sparkly lip gloss she's wearing. Hideous.

Commercial. Thank God. I'm drinking beer and I have to pee. BRB.

OK....Jin and that guy.....or is Jin that guy and the girl's name is actually something else?

Wait...my fat cat wants to sit on my lap. Wait...no....he was just passing through. He's such a b@st@rd.

Now Locke is bloody. Ewwww. But he's only bloody cuz he was busy killing a chicken....but he's still an @sshole.

Who is Miles again? Hurly is bringing him food.....Kate is snatching it and bringing it to him instead. I wish I knew who the f*ck he is. But whoever he is, he has a nice pad. Well situated. Idyllic, even.

Oh yeah. I know Miles. He's that pyschicish guy. But I'm just warning you....I might need a smoke soon. And PS - Kate is so much prettier without that f*ing sparkle pink lip gloss. She doesn't get to wear it in prison, BTW. And her lawyer is a pencil necked geek. But he has pretty blue eyes. I'm just sayin.

Her son?? Kate has a son??? WTF??? Dear God I need a cigarette. BRB. I'm not allowed to smoke in the computer room....even tho it's Thursday....and I'm allowed to smoke on weekends and Thursday is technically the weekend.......

9:20PM: I object! To Kate's hair. But I love me some Jack. Hot Hot Hottie. I loved him as the big brother (Charlie) on PO5 and I still love him.

Don't love the tear drop earrings either, Kate.

It occurs to me that Kate and Ms Dunbrook, the prosecutor, are twins. Same hair, same suit.

Sawyer is wearing my dad's taped together reading glasses. That's wacky.

Wine in a box. Generic. Interesting. And it brings to mind a question that's been bothering me for weeks, no months, no at least a couple of years.....where are the Losties getting all this chilled bottled water on an island that has no discernible commerce? The mind boggles. Locke is killing a frickin chicken for dinner but they have an endless supply of bottled water? WTF, man?

Kate wants to bust Locke out?? She's going to lube Sawyer up with a box of wine and get the job done? Good Lord.

Commercial. Might need to pee again.....BRB.

9:29PM....back. Backgammon. Baaaa. Interesting that Sawyer thinks the rest are sheep. I didn't think he was that intuitive. And now it turns out that Sawyer is a stoolie. And apparently a d*ck. Well he drinks wine from a box....such lowered expectations.

Miles has been busted out of his idyllic abode. And Locke and Sawyer are surprised. Who are the sheep?

Miles and Ben. Together again? Ben wants to negotiate his extortion. Typical. Anyone have a debit card handy?

I think Kate wears contacts.

Commercial....smoke break!!!!

9:40PM....Patsy Cline. Awesome. Kate gets kicked out of the compound and puts her sparkle lips back on to talk to......who is that? Her mom? The mom who marries wrong guy and then wants her daughter to kill her abusive husband? Uhhh, yeah. She bites.

I had cake and ice cream for dinner tonight. It was awesome. I'm just sayin.

Who is that mom? I know her. Character actress. I'll have to IMDB her. And here she goes with that Kate Has A Baby Thing again. What's up with that?

Freckles? Sawyer don't know no freckles till he sees Lilo as MM in a nekkid photo shoot. My son says it best....check this out....scroll to the end.

Two people I don't care about. The other "others". Hard to keep track of all these d@mn others.

Jack. *Sigh* Hot Hot Hottie.

And speaking of Hot Hot Hottie....where is Syaid????

And speaking of Sayid? Not only where is he, but where did he take the helicopter? And more importantly....who is the old lady he lives with in real life? Dammit....I'll have to IMDB him too.....my memory is leaking out my ears. It's my age. Or maybe the beer. Or maybe it was the sugar I had for dinner. Which was awesome. Did I mention that?

And speaking of IMDB, did you know that Eli Stone was once married to Angelina Jolie?

9:51 PM: John Locke AGAIN. Uhhh, can you say PSYCHO?

Oh my. Grizzle and Sparkle slept together? But did they DO IT?? Uhhh. No.

OHHHHH. She had the child after she left the island??? And who is the baby daddy?? Jack or Grizzle?? I feel you sister. Go ahead and slug that grizzled bastard. Put your sparkles on and slick your hair back and go to court. Damn this is confusing.

Pencil neck had really bad acne as a teenager.

"I just want this to be over."

Is she talking about the trial? Or this episode?

So did Kate rescue like four people on the beach? I didn't watch the first season....I have no idea. And apparently Jack needs to get back to the hospital and have a drink and an oxy instead of going to SEE THE BABY. OMG....he's the baby daddy?????

Who's in the crib??

Eric?

WTF??

Previews....

I'm still so confused!