Grammy Conversation

Just trying to show the world what a simple @ss I truly am:

Upon discovering Angel’s Flight right outside our hotel…
Sis: Do you believe this? It’s Angel’s Flight!
Me: It can’t be the real one. It must be a model or something.
Sis: (Arching eyebrow) A model or something?
Me: OMG…it IS the real one, isn’t it?

Deciding what to do for lunch…
Me: Want to get a sandwich in this little store and eat by the fountain?
Sis: Yeah, nothing seems to be open around here on Sunday before noon.
Store Clerk: Do you want me to grill that sandwich for you?
Me: I’m sorry?
Clerk: (Enunciating more clearly) Do you want me to grill that for you?!
Me: I’m sorry…I’m not hearing you very well…what was that again?
Clerk: (Even more loudly and clearly) Do you want me to grill that for you?!?!?
Me: (to Sis on the way out the door) I couldn’t hear a word she was saying...could you?
Sis: Do you want me to grill that for you?

While sitting around a funky fountain, next to Angel’s Flight, eating an un-grilled sammich…
Me: Where could that group of beautiful people be going at 11:30 in the morning on Grammy day dressed in sparkles and spangles like that?
Sis: I don’t know. Maybe a wedding.
Me: Nobody gets married on a Sunday.
Other pair of hicks sitting around the fountain: Where are you folks going all dolled up?
Sparkly People: We’re going to the Grammy’s!
Me: How could you be dressed like that now for a show that starts at 8PM? They must be d*cks.
Sis: I don’t know; maybe they’re the official greeters. Maybe they have somewhere to go before the show. Or maybe they are d*cks.

While getting dressed for the show…
Me: Are you wearing gold or silver?
Sis: I haven’t made up my mind. How does this look?
Me: Good. How does this look?
Sis: Good. Is this pin better up here or down a little lower?
Me: Not sure…move it down so I can see it again. Is this queer?
Sis: No, but I like the other one better. I don’t love this pin. Should I scrap the pin altogether?
Me: I don't know.
Sis: Well I’m ready to go.
Me: Me too.
Sis: You’re not wearing pants.
Me: I meant; I’m completely ready except for pants.

In the lobby waiting for our “transfer” to the show…
Me: (Looking at ticket) Oh. The Pre-telecast doors opened at 12:30 today. That’s prolly where those sparkly people were going.
Sis: Yeah. And yet you were bound and determined that they were the d*cks.
Me: This time difference has me all f*d up.