Kids

Tonight I went to a church festival with my sis and her daughter. Under protest. When they called and asked if I was up for it, I was napping. Cuz I'm a thousand years old and that's what thousand year old women do, dammit.

I digress: I had emailed my son earlier in the day and asked him if they would dare have this particular festival without him, because when he was a kid it was in our back yard and he was pretty sure they put it on every year just for his personal amusement. He responded that he told them they could go ahead with it this year without him.

So two and a half hours later, after tromping around with the sun in my eyes, I'd totally had enough. The dragon roller coaster, the fishing game, the other fishing game, the two foot beach ball in my arms, won by picking a yellow duck out of a tub of typhoid water by an amazed three year old, we bellied up to the sno cone stand and watched as a grimy carny poured ice into a blender with her bare hands and made us a couple of germcicles. Good times.

And good Lord in heaven it all brought back such memories. Wasn't it just last summer that my kid was that three year old? Thrilled to be riding the dragon coaster over and over? And over?

Another friend hooked up with us on the (excruciatingly) long walk home. Her kids are teenagers, and she thought maybe a beer later would be a good thing. And I'm like....cool. I'd kinda been hoping I could sneak off to the beer tent at the festival all evening and no one would notice. Not.

So after our walking, riding, standing around, watching, germ drinking adventure, I ditched my sis and my niece and went out for a beer.

The first place we went had karaoke. Loud karaoke. Terrible karaoke. We had one drink and left.

The second place we went was an old haunt I hadn't been to in years and years. And the owner was all like, where have you been?? Such adventures I had at that place. So stinking long ago. It's nice to be missed, you know?

And then my friend's cell phone rang. Her kids were fighting over the computer and required an intervention. So she told them to knock it off and go to their separate corners. Then her ex-husband called and told her that the fighting children had called him, and he was going to go to her house and find out what the heck the problem was, and she told him that she could handle it. And then my friend called her kids back and told them they were both in Big Trouble. And then we finished our drinks and went home.

And now I can't stop thinking of the days when my son was growing up. Of church festivals when he was tiny; and being out when he was a teenager and having him call me and want me to come home...even though as soon as I got there he would just go to bed and sleep like a little lamb, knowing his mama was home with him. Not caring that he ruined my fun...not caring that he wouldn't say anything to me except, "Good night," when I got there. And that I would be up for hours; hang time, alone, laying on the couch, wired and watching TV till I could unwind enough to go to sleep.

Like my seventy-something friend says, "It's nice when your kids have their own lives."

Raising kids is a much better thing to have done than to actually do. It's work and it's sacrifice and it's lonely and it's sweet and it's bitter...but if you do it right, the reward you get at the end is a kid you can be proud of. An adult that is interesting and funny and smart, and such a blessing to your life.

Being out with two moms tonight reminded me that having a child is the only miracle you will ever get to be a part of.