Echo

Dear Lord. It's been months of craziness. First Thanksgiving. Then Christmas shopping, wrapping, baking and decorating. Then vacation. Then home at midnight on the night before Christmas Eve. Then jet lag. Then holidays out the @ss. With cocktails. And smoking. And basically what amounted to ingesting bag after bag of refined sugar. Then heart burn and hangovers. Then the annual Family Christmas Dysfunction at my house. Then a sinus infection over New Year's weekend. Then when I was finally over all of that, well then came the flu. The Nasty Flu. So, so nasty.

Last week was my first full week back at work since mid-December. I was shaky and dehydrated, but determined to get my old life back. It wasn't much of a life, but dammit it's mine and it's familiar.

I had my annual physical on Tuesday. Turns out I've developed a heart murmur, of all things. Doc is sure it's nothing to worry about, yadda yadda, but I should have an echo cardiogram to be on the safe side. And of course, it's time for another mammogram. And blood work. Jesus Christ. Why don't I just check into the freaking hospital?

The echo cardiogram was Wednesday at 10:45 AM. I told Sissy it was a lot like a third date, only with another girl: I was flat on my back, my top was off and that tech chick was all over me. She was quick too. I was back at work before lunch.

And just how pitiful is your personal life when getting felt up in the middle of a workday by another woman is the most action you got over the holidays??