Friday, August 22, 2008

Projekt Conversation II

Recorded faithfully from what I frickin can remember, August 15, 2008

D: We won’t need those directions…I programmed the GPS on my phone to direct us right to the door of the venue.
GPS: You are off course.
G/f: Hahaha…
D: Just a minute and it’ll correct itself.
GPS: Turn left in twenty feet.
Me: Apparently your phone wants you to either get gas or some snacks for the road at this Mini Mart.
G/f: Hahaha….
D: Give it a chance.
GPS: You are off course, again! You people have no idea where you’re going!
D: I’m turning the effen thing off!
Me: But we’re not even on the highway yet!

In the parking lot at Riverbend:
Me: We seem to be at a deserted amusement park on a summer Friday afternoon at 4PM. This is very strange.
D: Let’s just follow those people who seem like they know where they’re going.
Me: There’s no gate. There are no ticket takers. You don’t have to pay to get in this amusement park? This is very strange.
G/f: There are only like ten customers in this park.
Me: Half of the rides don’t have people on them. This is very strange.
D: If the roller coaster is working when we come back through on the way out we are totally getting on it!
Me: What if the park is locked when the show is over? We’ll have to swim across the river to get to the car. This is very strange.


During Street Drum Corp’s set:

Me: Don’t you love it when the bass pounds through your heart and it feels like you’re going to have a heart attack!?!
D: Yeah!
Me: I’m a little scared that I’ll be in a coma by the time Linkin Park comes on!
D: I hear ya!


In the restroom between bands:

Me: Did you get your eyeballs fixed?
G/f: I took my contacts out.
Me: Good Lord; can you still see?
G/f: Yeah, kinda. It’ll be fine.
Me: I know you don’t want a beer but they have mixed drinks. Want a cocktail?
G/f: Maybe, but could you read the signs and tell me what they have?
Me: Good thing we’re in the 12th row and you still have ears or you’d prolly really be ticked, huh?
G/f: Hahaha….
Me: Well someone’s gotta be the DD on the way home and clearly, it's not going to be you.


During Chris Cornell’s set:

D: What a set of pipes….Jesus! And it doesn’t even look like he’s trying!
Me: I know! I was just thinking the same thing!
D: Chester looks like he’s going to stroke out on every song to get that much torque.
Me: I know!
Chris Cornell: I’m gonna break my…
I’m gonna break my rusty cage and run

Me: Johnny Cash wrote this song.
D: Are you serious?
Me: JC either wrote it or covered it…It’s on one of the American Recordings albums. Can’t you Google it on your fancy phone and ask that GPS lady who wrote it?
D: Yeah! I prolly can! Is it “Rusty Pain”?
Me: Rusty. Cage.
D: Rusty Page??
Me: RUSTY....CAGE!! For God’s sake, kid! Don’t you know this song?
D: I never heard it before in my life.
Me: You are not my child.

During Linkin Park’s set:
Me: How about that fat man two rows up that’s been dancing like a maniac through every song for an hour?
D: I know! And he’s not phoning it in! That fat bastard is tearing up, non-stop!
Me: I’m waiting for him and that wild crazy chick in the same row to bang heads and knock each other out during the encore!
D: That would be awesome!
Me: Where’s their effen bus? If I can just get on the bus they can drop me off when they play in Cleveland on Tuesday!

Jesus Christ what a show.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Horoscope

Aries (3/21-4/19)

"Your ambitions have not all come to fruition, but that doesn't mean that you have failed in any way. There is a time and place for everything, so don't get distracted if that big brass ring has escaped your grasp, yet again. This is not the end of your options, so do not beat yourself up about it. Instead, focus your energy on attaining some other new goal. While you're busy climbing that mountain, forces will be working to give you another opportunity to try this one again."

So, relative to my date last night, this is all the response I'm to expect from the cosmos?

But the bigger question is: exactly why does the universe hate me??

Monday, August 04, 2008

Sometimes

Last night I laid on the couch for five hours and watched the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice. Tonight I came home from work and watched the Kiera Knightly version, followed by Redford and Fonda in The Electric Horseman.

Sometimes even ten hours of romance on your TV is not enough.

I'm just saying.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Family Meeting

My son left work early and came bombing up I-71 today, and when I got home from work, he was sitting on the patio playing with his new Instinct phone. We spent an enjoyable hour doing amazing GPS "pizza shop in Hooterville" queries and watching E! on the tiny little screen and talking about his job and his big-boy life in C'bus. Cool to see his face mid-week, even if it's just for a quick catching up.

So then D's best friend comes over and Big Daddy shows up and parks his Jeep in the driveway behind D's car (my old car!) and the three of them head off to a race that rained them out in June. They should be home around midnight and then D will leave here in the morning and go straight to work in C'bus. Because he's 22 and driving 8 hours to attend a 4 hour event (and spending fitty bucks in gas to boot) makes complete sense to him.

I left right after they did to do some errands. When I got home there was a message on the machine from Sissy: "Hey, so is there something going on I should know about? I see the family posse in the driveway and nobody is home and I didn't know whether to be concerned or what."

Some days I feel kind of alone, just me and kitty rambling around in this big old haunted mansion.

Not today, though.